Its YOUR Life!

Yep, your life sucks.

So what are you going to do about it?

No amount of whining is going to make any difference.

You have to WANT to change your life.

Then, do something about it!

Accept self responsibility.

Accept your mistakes.

Accept blame.

Accept what you have done to get where you are today.

Accept what you can’t change, what you don’t own and lay them to rest.

Next, change your attitude.

Focus on the positives in your life.

Focus on how you can make today better.

Make plans for where you want to be in 10 years time.  5 years.  1 year.  What do you have to do to achieve that goal?

If you are over 18 you have the choice where your life takes you. It might take time, but you can achieve your goals.

It all starts with YOU.

I have had to do this!  I had a mess in my life and I actually wanted that mess as much as I didn’t want it.  The mess was enticing.  It was fun.  It was captivating.  I craved it like an addiction and I didn’t want to give it up.

On the other hand, all the wonderful that came with the mess, made the rest of my life a disaster.  I couldn’t choose to have both the mess, and a normal happy life.  I had to choose.  It took a while to work through, but I chose my normal life because that was where I knew I needed to be.  I knew that was the way to the best future.

Addiction, no matter what form it comes in is controlling and possesses your very soul.  Whether you are addicted to a drug, alcohol, exercise, diet or a person.  It takes over your thought process, and evades all reasonable logic.  It is dangerous.  It is enticing.  It is destructive.

Some people are addicted to drama.  They love it, just as much as they hate it.  Something in their system draws them back in time and time again.  Perhaps it is the adrenaline of the drama, perhaps it is the attention.  Often times, people don’t even know they are creating their own mess.

Being self aware is a major skill in life.   Looking at yourself critically, yet without criticising is exceptional.

As I did… deciding to change is the first step towards breaking the cycle of addiction.  Support and accountability go a long way to helping you create a new life.   I wouldn’t be where I am today without the support of a group of online friends.  They let me walk through my circumstances as I needed to and supported me and kept promising me a better future.

A future I now embrace.   A future I CHOSE.  One I am so very thankful I did!  If I didn’t I would still be whinging and complaining, instead I am free, happy, loved and loving.  I am true to myself, true to my God.

You get to choose too.  If you want to continue with your bad choices, then do.  Just don’t whinge when life sucks.  If you want to embrace the future you dream of, then start believing you can do it and make steps towards change.  It is quite possible that in a year or two’s time, you will have no idea who that person was you use to know~!

It’s never too late!

Taxi Mom

‘Mum, I need you to take me to football’

‘Mum, we have to pick Karen up’

‘Mum….. Mum…. Mum….’

Anyone else feel like a teenagers Taxi Mom?  It’s something we all say at times I’m sure.  There are years that feel as though we are all about food, clothes and tripping our teens wherever they need to go.

I’m currently on to teaching our fourth child to drive.  Every time I teach one I think ‘Yipee – now I will have a child who can pick their sibling up and help with the taxiing.’  It never happens.

So I drive.  We live a good 45 minutes from most central places.  Every day I drive my girls to school as I have the boys before them.  With each of my teens, it has just so worked out that I have had a year or more driving just one of them.  The rest were at different schools and caught buses etc.  That time has created some of my best memories.

The car is the place we have had our best discussions.  It is the place we have sung the silliest songs, laughed about stupid things, and there have even been a few tears.

The car has been the place I have often learnt things I didn’t want to know and told them things they didn’t want to hear.

The greatest thing about being a Taxi Mom, is that you get connection.  45-60 minutes each way every day means you can talk and your child can’t escape.  It means you can listen & build relationship.

Teenagers, especially today are the most likely to sit in their rooms, grunt, nod, and  pretend you aren’t important.  But we are. So very important!

As I drove home last night I realised I am in my last year of driving daughter no 1. It makes me incredibly sad.  I will so miss the connection that we have, her company, our laughs, and just her presence.  Yet, I know we have built a great relationship.  I know that we have a close bond.

When she is gone, I have four years left with my youngest.  I pray that those times will be just as valuable, just as important and just as bonding.  My sons who now live a plane flight away are still close with us.  They miss us and frequently ring for chats and direction and just to hear their Mummas voice.

So, if you are a mother who is busy taxiing your children around, embrace the moments, create the relationships, and treasure the times your children let you into their lives.

It is so true that we only get to hold their hand for a while, but we want to hold their heart forever.

xx

 

My 5 Tips for a Healthy Marriage

  

21 years ago I agreed to marry a man I didn’t love, and he agreed to marry me.  The odds were against us, but all these years later we are still here, healthy and thriving. 

While God has had a huge part in seeing us through, these 5 things are the top five I have learnt over the years: 

• Have a shared vision for your future
• Laugh together (a lot) 
• Lean in to each other always
• Keep fighting for each other 
• Keep your attitude in check constantly

They are fairly simple and self explanatory, but let me elaborate a little.

After many years of talking and dreaming about our vision, we are finally starting to live it and honestly we can see so much ahead for us, it’s so exciting!  A ‘couple vision’ keeps you focused on your future together and ensures you don’t look at the possibility of a future where the other person isn’t beside you. 

We laugh – a lot.  My husband is a funny guy and I love him for that.  He can make fun of anything, especially me and it provides us with such a good friendship base. 

Early in our marriage I was always discussing things with my friends, and I often looked to outside sources for my happiness.  I have learnt that there is nothing outside my marriage that will help it, except me being present in the marriage and not finding an escape route.  When you look away from each other you will see many temptations, but leaning in, even when you don’t feel like you love a person – that’s what brings growth. 

We have fought for our marriage.  Sometimes he has fought for my heart and other times I have fought for his, but we never gave up fighting because we believed in marriage and family. 

If you look at negatives, you will find them.  If you find them, it’s easy to dwell on them.  When you dwell on them you make room for bitterness and anger.  So keep your attitude in check.  Show appreciation.  Look for the good things, admire the wins, support each other, and be each other’s biggest cheer squad.  Overlook the small stuff, allow room and freedom for each other to grow and forgive quickly and completely. 

Sometimes you see people who have been together for 40 years and are unhappy and moan and grumble at each other all the time.  I don’t want a future like that!  I want a future where we are happy and strong and have our family around us, and where the thought of being without each other cuts deep. 

21 years and growing stronger by the day – these are my top 5 take home lessons. Choose to create a marriage that thrives! 

I would choose him again and again!

x